Trauma expresses itself in various ways depending, among other things, on age, developmental level, previous life experiences, emotional health before a loss, and family and social environments. Consider the warning signs below as thorough without being exhaustive:
5 Years Old & Younger
Children in this age bracket tend to be strongly affected by the parents’ reactions to traumatic events.
- Fear of being separated from the parent
- Excessive clinging
- Crying, whimpering, screaming, trembling
- Immobility and/or aimless motion
- Frightened facial expressions
- Regressive behaviors such as Thumb-sucking, Bedwetting, and Fear of darkness
- Nightmares, excessive fear of the dark
- Confusion, poor concentration
- Irritability, outbursts, and tantrums
- Exaggerated startle response
- Somatic complaints
- Changes in eating or sleeping
- Withdrawal and isolation
- Suppression of emotions
- Repetitious play, a re-enactment of events in play
- Fears about safety
- Magical ideas related to the event
6 to 11 Years Old (Grades 1-5)
- Extreme withdrawal
- Disruptive behavior
- Inability to pay attention
- Regressive behaviors such as Thumb sucking, Clinging to parents
- Nightmares and sleep problems
- Irrational fears
- Irritability
- Refusal to attend school
- Outbursts of anger
- Stomachaches or other bodily symptoms that have no medical basis
- Decline in school performance
- Anxiety, feelings of guilt and, emotional numbing or “flatness”
- Talk about incident obsessively, recounting the same story over and over*
*Once a child has assimilated the event by establishing intimacy and uncovering their underlying feelings, the repetitious storytelling should begin to cease.
12 to 17 Years Old (Grades 6-12)
An adolescent may feel extreme guilt over his or her failure to prevent injury or loss of life, and may harbor revenge fantasies that interfere with recovery from the trauma.
- Flashbacks
- Nightmares
- Emotional numbing
- Withdrawal and isolation
- Avoidance of any reminders of the traumatic event
- Depression
- Increased risk-taking behavior
- Substance abuse
- Problems with peers
- Antisocial behavior
- Physical complaints
- Changes in eating or sleeping
- Suicidal thoughts
- Focus on death
- School avoidance
- Academic decline
- Worry over the safety of loved ones
- Poor concentration
- Loss of interest in favorite activities
Adult Caregivers (Vicarious Trauma)
- Constant tiredness, even after resting.
- Physical body tension
- Headaches, back pain, and wrist pain
- Difficulty falling asleep
- Falling sick when you have time to rest, such as on a vacation
- Hypersensitive to emotionally-charged material
- Guilt for having more resources or opportunities than those you serve
- Feeling like no matter how much you give, it will never be enough
- Feeling helpless or hopeless about the future
- Increased levels of anger, irritability, resentment, or cynicism
- Minimizing the suffering of others in comparison to the most severe incidents or situations
- Intrusive thoughts and imagery related to the traumatic material you have seen or heard
- Avoidance of work, relationships, and/or responsibilities
- Dread of activities that used to be positive or neutral
- Using behaviors to escape, such as eating, taking alcohol/drugs, watching TV, or shopping
- No separation of personal and professional time
- Viewing other people who don’t work within your field as less important
- Difficulty relating to others’ day-to-day experiences without comparing them to those you serve or yourself
- Lacking a personal life outside of work
However someone appears to be coping with trauma or loss, it is important to initiate contact with them so that they know that they are supported. Having a good relationship with the student is not enough for them to feel comfortable initiating meaningful conversations with adults about the loss or asking for help.
Check out our Conversations in the Face of Grief page, or if you’d like help navigating these lists, and understanding how to thoughtfully engage with grieving students, families, and peers, we’d love to support you.